A Letter To A Past President

Dear Dopey:

You have cemented your place in history as the ONE! (=Our National Embarrassment). We all knew you were an empty-headed, amoral, self-absorbed, unqualified demagogue but you fooled your way into the White House.  Shame on us! Once.

But after six months of your tomfoolery, despite our hopes that something good might materialize from your Presidency, I think most of us who aren't mentally deranged are fed up. I certainly am. Your belated and inappropriate reaction to the recent violence in Charlottesville, Virginia laid bare your lack of a moral compass. Further, as the media and politicians sought to maintain a veneer of polite democratic discourse by asking themselves 'who is to blame' for such violence, that question is only rhetorical:  YOU are to blame. Throughout your campaign, you purposely stirred the hornet's nest, you fomented and encouraged hatred and racism; you cynically exacerbated rifts in our national unity. The fatalities in Charlottesville lie at your door, like one of those bags of dogshit that jokesters used to put on people's doorsteps and light on fire. You tried to stamp it out, but gosh, it just made a worse mess.

Long story short, your political legitimacy is forfeit, except with the diehard base that you tried so hard to appease.    

So you need to go.  I mean, before the next election 3+ years away. I'm sure you've realized that, haven't you? You are trampling the Constitution as well as cherished American values. 

In some quarters, there has been talk that you should resign. It's true you should, but I don't see that as a solution that you would ever accept. 

So I'm signing up for the impeachment option. The process would likely be messy. It would be divisive. Your party, in particular that pillar of civic virtue and guardian of governmental rectitude, Mitch McConnell, would have to take the lead (hey, why should Democrats dirty themselves with cleaning up your mess?). And sadly, you could do a lot more damage to our nation in the intervening months or years. Perhaps worst, impeachment would leave us in the hands of the puritanical Pence. A Presidency is a terrible thing to wreck - worse even than "beautiful statues."  So impeachment isn't perfect but it may be the best option we have.

Or...

Wait - have you considered suicide?  Now, I don't mean to make light of suicide.  Generally our society abhors it, and takes steps (counseling and the like) to discourage those considering it, be they troubled teens or despairing oldsters. But that's because we assume those people have some redeeming social value, some contribution to make.  

So let's have a look: I know, I know, right off the bat, doing yourself in doesn't sound like your style, any more than resigning. But it's not hard to imagine that a supreme egotist like you could become terribly wrought up over your abject failure to achieve anything, or/and be driven to despair at the consequent ravaging of your reputation. This move would eradicate the stink of wimpiness that hangs about you now, and put you back in the mold of the daring iconoclast - the first U.S. President to off himself!  Just imagine the headlines!  Sounds perfect, doesn't it?

Before I go (and before you do) I feel you owe me for suggesting a perfect solution, so just one request:  You've got to persuade that Pence guy to go with you. Make it like, a lover's pact (you know he never really loved you ... he just used you). Or maybe stage it as a terrorist attack - even more headlines!  

  

Comments

[PiedType]

So I take it you are upset with our Dear Leader?

[stssis]

Fine thoughts indeed, with which I totally agree!